


His Other Heart

by RogerJaSm



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Could Be Canon, Could be seen as platonic, During Canon, F/M, Oneshot, POV The Doctor (Doctor Who), POV Twelfth Doctor, Romance, Spoilers for Episode: s08e08 Mummy on the Orient Express, The Doctor (Doctor Who) Needs a Hug, Twelfth Doctor Era, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-09 22:56:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18926662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogerJaSm/pseuds/RogerJaSm
Summary: A brief continuation and look at how the conversation between Clara Oswin Oswald and the Twelfth Doctor played out in Mummy On The Orient Express.





	His Other Heart

“So you saved everyone.” The words hung in the air as the Doctor’s brows furrowed; he averted his gaze from her, begging to decipher the hidden meaning, the thought that had caused her to say those words. It stabbed at him, the realization of what she meant, what she wouldn’t say, what she thought of him.

 

“No, I just saved you and let everyone else suffocate… _ha ha._ ” The brief laugh that concealed his emotions, playing off how he truly felt; his gaze was fixed on her features, staring into the large chestnut irises that adorned the top half of her face, his own briefly reflecting the hidden hurt he felt, almost pleading her to understand, to see. Yet all he was left with was a murmur of laughter.

 

“ _Yeah_ , this is just my cover story.” He averted his sight from her once again, finding interest in the distant horizon; he could no longer bear to stay underneath her gaze, yet his true emotions to still go unnoticed.

 

“So… When you lied to Maisie, when you made me lie to Maisie—”

 

“I couldn’t risk Gus finding out my plan and stopping me.” Genuine relief filled her features, it gnawed at him, the thought that only nowshe understood.

 

“So, you were pretending… to be heartless.” There it was, the unspoken meaning put into words, what she had thought, what she may still think of him. It hurt him in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time, even the hatred she had directed at him after the debacle on the moon did not hold a candle to this. To the crack in twin hearts, to the hollow feeling in his stomach, it made him question their time together, question whether or not their heartfelt moments had been genuine, if even through those times she had still felt like this, that she had not seenhim.

 

“Would you like to think that about me… would that make it easier.” He asked her, staring into her irises with a certain level of veiled desperation, it was when she was the first to break their gaze that he understood.

 

_Of course._

 

“I didn’t know… if I could save her, I couldn’t save Quell, I couldn’t save Moorhouse, there was a good chance she’d die to.” He moved to sit next to her, staring out at the expanse of ocean before them.

 

“At which point… I would have just moved onto the next and the next, until I beat it.” He may have been deceitful, hiding the truth from her when it was needed, but he hopped, that when it mattered, each and every time it came down to him and her that he was always truthful.

 

“Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones… But you still have to choose.” He wondered if she understood, if revealing his buried feelings would change any part of the oncoming decision, he knew she had to make. His mind screamed at him that she had already chosen, that what had transpired the last they were together was the ‘final nail in the coffin’ if you will. But that part of himself he had ignored throughout near to all his regeneration's still held out hope, hope that he would not wind up alone, that their time together would be prolonged.

 

He felt it before he turned to look at her, the weight of someone’s head resting against his shoulder, the warmth that radiated from her seeping into his very core. Yet it still chilled him, having her this close yet so unreachable.

 

_Look at you, the daft old man doting after the little thing._

 

_I wonder if she notices hmm._

 

_Or is she blinded by good old soldier boy._

 

_Or, just maybe she has noticed._

 

_Thinking she’s better off getting out while she still can._

 

Missy’s voice rang through his mind, deafening all other thoughts, drowning them out completely.

 

“Maybe I’ve already made my choice.” Her quiet words filtered through the cool, sea air, he heard them with such clarity that you would have thought they were spoken directly next to his ear. He turned his head to look down at her, watching as she turned her own to meet his. She smiled softly up at him, her arm snaking around so that her palm could rest against his cheek. Confusion war'd with hope in his eyes, the longer he stared into the depth's of her own large, brown one's the stronger his hope became.

 

“I know you think I don’t still see you, that you believe I think of you as uncaring, but I want you to know this Doctor. No matter how confused, angry or upset I become I will always, _always_ trust you.”

 

She lent up, pressing a chaste yet lingering kiss to his cheek, as she drew back her gaze connecting with his once again, she smiled softly, her thumb rubbing against the skin of his cheek affectionately. He allowed himself to smile, to release his doubts and thoughts for this singular moment, because as he starred into her warm opening features, he realized something, for as long as she was with him, he would have his other heart.

**Author's Note:**

> This story wound up burrowing it's way into my head after re-watching the 8th series of Doctor Who.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading!


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